Discover the process of forgiving a cheater and rebuilding trust in a relationship. Learn how to overcome the pain and decide if forgiveness is possible.
Mar 18 2017 23:09 3 mins read
Should You Forgive a Cheater?
Auckland residents, have you been recently cheated on? I know I have. I was actually cheated on by my girlfriend, and I discovered this about a month ago. It was really hard for me to deal with, mostly because I love her so much and I didn't imagine that she would be capable of something like that. I used the present tense of ‘love' back there, because I do still love her. In fact, I decided to give her a second chance despite the fact that she totally broke my trust. Why did I do that, you ask. Well, simply because I believe that she's my soulmate. I love her more than anything, and I love her enough to give her a second chance despite the fact that she almost shattered my heart for good. Despite the fact that I've endeavored to forgive her, I still can't shake off the image of finding her and her lover having sex in our own bed. That image probably won't ever go away completely, but I know that I have genuine love in my heart for this woman, and that's stronger than any past or future incident. If your girlfriend recently cheated on you, and you're wondering how to forgive her for it, I might just have some insight to offer you.
How to Forgive a Cheater
Wondering how to forgive a cheater? Well, you should first know that it is very far from easy. It takes a lot of work, both on the inside of yourself and on the outside, with your partner. It takes a huge amount of communication and an even bigger amount of inner meditation. When you discover that a loved one has been cheating on you, your entire life is effectively altered, and you'll never truly be the same person ever again. However, forgiveness can definitely be reached if you stick to the task for long enough.
Forgiving a Cheater — A Long and Arduous Road
Forgiving a cheater is a long and arduous road, no matter how you look at it. If you're not ready to go through the whole process for the long haul, then you have a good chance of failing halfway through. You have to keep your eye on the end-prize here, and the finish line in this case is the re-establishment of trust in the relationship. Finding that trust again will take a long time, and it won't work if you abandon all of your efforts halfway through. Stay motivated and focus, and remind yourself that you're doing all of this because you really, truly love her.
Trust is Rebuilt in Small Steps
Trust is not rebuilt over a day or even a week. It takes a long time, and it only happens in small steps. Your girlfriend is effectively on probation mode after she gets caught cheating, and any small offense will lower her points in your book. Forgive the sports analogy, but it's true. She needs to stay constantly vigilant when it comes to proving her loyalty to you again, and you need to be just as attentive when it comes to noticing the signs that she's improving.
Should You Forgive Her? Only Time Will Tell
Should you forgive her? Only you know the answer to that question. It's as simple as figuring out whether you still love her. If you do, and you play your cards wisely, you may have a chance at rebuilding a strong, loving relationship in the future.