Discover the process of forgiving a cheater and rebuilding trust in your relationship. Learn how to assess your feelings, let him prove his loyalty, and take small steps towards forgiveness.
Feb 17 2017 22:02 3 mins read
How to Forgive a Cheater
Rockhampton people, I feel your pain. You've been cheated on, haven't you? Well, so have I. I was actually cheated on by my boyfriend, and I just discovered it last week. I've been shaky ever since I caught him and his mistress in the act. It's actually starting to affect my work life, as I haven't been able to concentrate in the office as fluidly as I normally do. I just can't shake the image off of my mind. It's a really devastating thing to go through. However, the most important thing here is that I decided to give my boyfriend (or your girlfriend) a second chance. I think he might just be the love of my life, and this whole cheating scandal was just a one-off deal. He has told me himself multiple times that this was the first and only time he has ever cheated on me in our 3 year relationship. He says it was an expression of weakness on his part, and he'll never do something like that to me again for the rest of our lives. Of course, all of that might just be some hot air, but I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. I love him enough to attempt to forgive him for this act of betrayal. Of course, I haven't forgiven him yet, but I'm workin on it. I know that one day, I'll get there. If you're in the same position that I am, I'm confident that you'll get there, too.
Should You Forgive Him?
The ultimate question is whether or not you should forgive him. It's a hard question to answer, but at the same time it's quite easy. The real question you have to ask yourself is if you still love him. I mean, if you still really love him. Love can be fleeting and it can an illusion. If the love is true, however, then it can survive through all circumstances. If you know in your heart that you still love this person, then maybe it's worth giving him a second chance.
Forgiving a Cheater Takes Deep Inner Work
When you're in the process of forgiving a cheater, not only do you have to work outwardly on the relationship with your partner; the bulk of the work comes within yourself. You need to do a lot of self-searching and self-realizing after you discover a lover in the act of cheating. You need to assess how you were affected by this situation, and what lessons it taught you. As twisted as it sounds, I learned quite a bit from catching my boyfriend in bed with his mistress. Mostly, I learned that I am a strong person, and I can handle an enormous amount of pain without collapsing entirely. You have that same strength within you, and you'll need all of it if you're planning on forgiving your lover for cheating.
Forgiving Him in Small Steps
Forgiving him won't happen overnight, not even close. It will take time, and he will need to rebuild the trust in small steps. You need to actively engage him every step of the way, and be entirely aware of his behavior at all times.
Letting Him Prove His Loyalty
When it comes to forgiving a cheater, the fat is that the cheater must do the bulk of the work to prove his loyalty to you. Not to say that you just sit back and watch him do it, however it's really not worth your time if he isn't doing anything to prove himself. Observe his behavior, see if he's putting in the effort, and maybe one day you can trust him again.